What to say about this week…
I continued to work on my maquette…
My struggle with sculpting the wood-grain continued… The struggle, my friends, is real.
In saying that, I actually had a pretty good week (with the quintessential ups and downs). I feel like I learned a lot, and continued to grow as an artist, in ways of patience, resilience, focus, technique and attention to detail. I won’t lie and say it hasn’t been an uphill battle, but I have had excellent support around me. My supervisors Georgina Haynes and Toby Froud were especially kind to me this week (I think sensing my frustration); generous in their time and advice, though certainly no less detail focussed in their critiques.
It became a bit of a running joke around the puppet department, me and my wood grain, which was actually wonderful, the camaraderie easing the tension. The vibe in the puppet department is, as a general rule, quite playful, which always makes me smile and laugh throughout my day. At one point there was a lengthy international debate about the merits of American dish “Biscuits and Gravy” which was wonderfully silly and incredibly entertaining. I will try the vegan version of this dish at some point and report back!
Before I left Melbourne, I spoke to my therapist about my social anxiety, and my tendency to obsess over my interactions with other human beings. She gave me the very sound advice, to “Zoom Out”. How does the other person feel about this interaction? How will you feel about it in a week? A month? A year? How will it impact you? Your life? The world!? The advice really resonated with me and “Zooming Out” has become a very valuable tool for me; quite literally in this instance when I find myself staring at my little maquette, and even more closely at the wood grain on it’s surface (depth, width, consistency, sharpness etc). And also in it’s intended sense when I find myself going over and over the (often conflicting) critiques in my head.
Mid-week I felt quite defeated. I spent all day Tuesday carefully sculpting a new wood grain on to my puppet, and then, upon receiving critiques from George and Toby, spent all day Wednesday basically undoing Tuesday’s work, scraping everything back and reshaping the puppet back to neutrality. I felt trapped and completely at a loss as to how I would complete this task. I decided at the end of the day that I would walk home to clear my head. Honestly one of the best decisions I could have made for my mental health. I dawdled up beautiful 23rd, got myself a fancy vegan ice cream from Salt & Straw, and wandered across the Broadway Bridge. I stood on the bridge, and felt my brain completely zoom out as I looked at the river and the city. I felt the tension in my head ease in the cool air, and the stress of the day begin to evaporate.
It reminded me that I am on the other side of the world, working on this incredible production. I am the lucky winner of a highly sought after prize. 52 worthy applicants for my placement in the puppetry department, and here I am, living it. It is still very surreal and I don’t think it has really hit home yet that I am here. I took long, deep, calming breaths on that bridge on Wednesday night. I think I will walk home more often.
After debriefing with and receiving some excellent advice from my housemate and colleague Mattzilla, I entered the studio on Thursday ready and raring to climb my wood grain Everest. After sculpting the woodgrain in, and scraping it off so many times, the shape of my puppet had gradually changed, the lines becoming less clear, the shapes less coherent. This was actually one of the critiques I received from George on Tuesday afternoon, due to my constant smoothing out, my edges had all become quite rounded and soft. I had been using paw-paw ointment to smooth out the surface (something I often do at home), which unfortunately was not the right choice in this scenario as it is a little too thick and takes too much of the clay away and leaves obvious brush stroke lines… something I had never noticed before, because I have never been this zoomed in.
Zilla reminded me, that while stop motion puppets are small, they will be filmed in close up and then projected on to a giant screen, so a head that in reality is the size of a golfball, will be blown up to the size of a gas station sign, and a hair on screen will look like a rope… meaning those brush strokes I didn’t notice would be extremely visible.
A little afraid to attempt wood-grain on my puppet again, Zilla suggested that I make myself some clay tiles to practice on. On Thursday I made four circular tiles, and began practicing my wood grain, using both sides of the tile to try new techniques. This gave me so much more room to play, and the freedom to wander over to Toby and George with my tiles and ask for advice. Toby showed me some great techniques using different tools, and also showed me how putting cling film/ saran wrap over the clay first can make for nice soft finishes, and if you use tools made of piano wires, and cross hatch with them, you can make really nice skin textures. Having the freedom to play, being able to scrape my tiles clean repeatedly, was so refreshing. It took all the fear out of sculpting wood grain, knowing my maquette was safe and unscathed.
Eventually I felt confident to take my tiles (with mildly differing woodgrain techniques) over to George to see if she liked any of them. Of the options, she picked out two that she liked. I felt quietly elated.
Having already acknowledged that her opinion and Toby’s were not always in-sync, George decided to call him over to see if he agreed with her tile choices. I marked the two George liked for reference, and she shuffled up the tiles. Toby predictably, chose two completely different tiles, but after some discussion they came to a consensus, and I walked away with my reference tiles, feeling finally like I had achieved something Right (note the capital R). But this victorious feeling quickly faded, when I realised that now I had to somehow mimic this magic on the maquette!
Friday was spent (amidst a few other adjustments) sculpting the wood-grain back on-to my maquette using mostly the dental tool that Hasani leant me last week. I have lost count, but I think this would be about my 6th attempt at the wood grain. I moved slowly, cautiously, really considering my lines, and what Hasani refers to as the “story” of the grain. These particular characters are meant to look as though they have been carved from one singular piece of wood, so the grain pattern needs to follow a cohesive storyline. I was pretty terrified the whole time, just assuming it will all have to come off again. At the end of Friday, having not quite finished covering the whole maquette, I showed Toby, and to my utter surprise and delight, he liked it! I have yet to show George, a little hesitant not wanting to end my week on a sour note, in case she wasn’t happy with it.
And so, I will enter week 4 hopeful that I might finish my maquette (fingers crossed). This coming week will be my last with the sculpting team, and I would love it if I could sculpt just one other thing in my month with them. However, puppet production manager Jennifer Hammontree, did re-assure me that for a character like this, the sculptors would be given a time frame of 20 days to complete the sculpt. Thus far, I have done 13 days, so… perspective is nice. If I do spend all week working on my maquette, I will be happy. I just hope I can finish it by Friday. It will be quite anticlimactic for me if after 4 weeks, I do not get sign off on my sculpt.
On top of all this, I have to mention how amazing it has been to see this big well-oiled machine in action. Seeing all the different teams working in harmony, crossing over, helping each other, puppets coming together… Then seeing those puppets come to life in animation tests! Amazing artists, and experts in their field, I am beyond thrilled to be here, witnessing it, part of it. I am so excited to learn from all of the different puppetry departments, from hair to costumes, to paint, to armatures. This week Jennifer drew up a rough schedule for my 6 months. After I finish up with the sculpting team, I will be moving on to mould-making, which is exciting! I have been sharing a desk with the mould-making team, and have loved seeing what they get up to. It also means I will get to work with and learn from my amazing housemate Mattzilla Duron. He may be sick of me by the end of it!
So ends my week 3 post. For those reading along, I would love your feedback. What do you want to hear more about? I have had a request from my good friend Adam Proulx to write something about my life outside of work, so will do a little bonus post at some stage!